Happosai's Bargain
by Nocturnis
Summary: Going Note to readers: This is part two to my twelve-part year of evil series. Each story takes place roughly a month after the previous one. Happosai's Bargain is a Halloween story without the actual Halloween that brings back the mysterious stranger. I hope you enjoy it


Note to readers: This is the first story in my twelve-part Year of Evil Series each story will take place roughly a month after the previous one. Also this story takes place shortly after the introduction of Ukyo. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoys it.

Questions or comments?

I can be reached at larzaius2003

Sincerely T.

Ranma 1/2

Love and Chaos

Two days ago:

It was a very dark in the cellar of the Cat Cafe but Cologne didn't mind as she began grounding an herb into a fine powder.

"Soon son-in-law, it will be done very soon, she croaked. She found it difficult to talk with the mask covering her nose and mouth, but she worked unaware of a pair of glasses watching her.

"Great Grandma, I'm home!" Shampoo said getting off her bike. As she did, a duck with glasses waddled towards her. "Go away Mousse. Shampoo don't want to play right now." As the heartbroken duck began to waddle off Shampoo looked for her great grandmother Cologne. Great Grandma where are you?" A sound coming from the cellar answered her question.

"Hello Shampoo, please wait out there until I'm ready," she croaked. The door opened and Cologne stepped out she was dressed in a small smock with gloves and wearing a frog mask.

"Great Grandma, what you doing in cellar?" Cologne took off her gloves and frog mask and looked at her great granddaughter.

"Do you know what the Sakuratu root is Shampoo?" Shampoo just blinked twice as an answer to Shampoo's question.

"It is an old mystery kept secret through out 3,000 years of Chinese Amazon History. The root of the Sakuratu tree was used as a relaxant. It could calm the most stressful of warriors before and after battle." She stopped for a minute to catch her breath and jumped up on her staff. "It would be boiled for four days and nights into a powerful tea and then poured into a ceremonial kettle to be served in tiny ceremonial cups. One Amazon princess decided to ground the root into a fine powder so she would not to wait for the special tea, but a horrible accident took place when she got the powder all over her skin. She fell deeply in love with the first man she saw." Shampoo's eyes twinkled.

"Ah! Great Grandmother you saying if Shampoo sprinkle special powder on Ranma and he see her, he fall in love with Shampoo?" She put here hands to her face and spun around an image of her and Ranma finally married formed in her head.

"Where is powder?" she asked enthusiastically going towards the door.

"Wait my child! It will be at least a day before the powder is ready!" As they left to discuss plans for the upcoming ceremony neither one saw a particular duck wearing really big glasses looking at the basement door and speculating.

Today:

Though it was another typical day and another typical walk to school for Ranma and Akane, Ranma was worried. _What's going to happen today? Is Kuno going to declare his love for Akane, maybe Ryoga or some student I don't even know'll attack me? _He thought to himself. _Perhaps Kodachi will show up and try to drug me again or I'll learn of yet another fiancé Pop set me up with to fill his belly. _A cloud of dust heading towards him and Akane interrupted his thoughts.

"Now what?" he asked as the cloud got closer he could make out a couple of people running then he heard the voice of the annoying bane of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts.

"What a haul! Oh what a haul!" It was Happosi. As usual he was running from the female students a big bag of women's underwear flung over his shoulders.

"Looks like he's at it again," Akane said a note of disapproval in her voice.

"Hold it right there freak!" Ranma shouted running towards Happosi.

"Ranma my boy how ya doing, here, catch," Ranma was surprised to find a pair of women's underwear suddenly in his hands but before he could react to it, a bra was slung over his eyes. Wrestling with the bra Ranma saw a horde of angry girls advancing towards him_. Oh no,_ he thought. _Not again!_

Thinking quickly he jumped over the fence and into the river. Swimming to shore he found the transformation had taken place, and once again he was a girl.

"Hurry, Ranma! We're going to be late for class!" she heard Akane shout at her as she found a dry surface.

While this was going on they were unaware that they were being watched by a mysterious figure.

**"Ah Happy, Happy, Happy, still up to your old tricks I see."** He said as he watched the young man pull himself out of the water. His clothes were drenched but that was not that unusual considering he just dove into the river, however the person wearing those clothes was not the same young man, instead it was a cute redhead of similar make and build.

**"Interesting,"** the figure said, grinning, his teeth showing hugely which revealed a small pair of fangs. **"This will definitely require further watching."**

"Damn that old bastard. I'm going to be late!" Ranma said running towards his school in girl form. His mind went back to all the times that Happosi had gotten not only him but also the entire Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts in trouble. What really bothered Ranma was he and Akane were usually the ones who had to stop his perverted romping since Mr. Tendo and his pop spent most of their time groveling before him. He thought that he would have at least a couple of months of peace and quiet after Happosi left during that whole Shiori mess. But unfortunately the old freak always had the worse habit of coming back just in time to screw things up.

"Why couldn't he just stay gone?" Ranma muttered to herself. Looking at the clock, she saw she was five minutes late. "Oh well at least I don't have to worry about Kuno bothering me today."

As she reached the gates her mind drifted once again to Watihati Kuno, the upperclassman that dubbed him-self 'The Blue Lighting of Forenkin High'. In truth he was a pompous blowhard who fancied himself a samurai and until Ranma had arrived, had been in love with Akane Tendo. When he learned of Ranma's arranged engagement to Akane he became a sworn irritant (enemy was just too strong a word). It had become even worse when he saw Ranma in his female form; the idiot had fallen in love with his girl form. There were times were Ranma considered letting Kuno just chop off his head to spare him further grief. Once again she found herself in the sport equipment storage locker behind the school, with the usual pail of hot water and dumping it over her head.

"Still, I wish just once the old leach would meet someone more selfishly perverted then him just so he could get a taste of his own medicine." As he headed off to class a young man wearing a baseball cap emerged from the shadows.

**"Be careful what you wish for Ranma-San, you just might get it."**

"So ladies, how many can I put you down for?" Nabiki asked as she jotted down orders in her notebook.

"No fair Nabiki." one of the other girls started to complain, "How can you even think of taking advantage of us by selling us gym shorts every time that pervert shows up?" Nabiki just smiled.

"If you don't want them, that's fine by me but how are you going participate in gym class the teachers won't let you do it in your uniform?" The girl hung her head in defeat and made in order along with the rest of the gym class. Nabiki had to smile. Since Happosi's return it had been a profitable month. Selling gym shorts at one hundred yen a pop made it look like it this was going to be a good year indeed. Meanwhile, the cap-wearing, grinning shadow watched all this from an outside window

**"How delightfully sneaky that one is and here all I thought I was going to get was just a little T&A session. I might actually like it here."** He then disappeared before anyone could see him watching the girl's locker room.

Meanwhile back in the cellar of the Cat Cafe; a figure stirred in the darkness. He moved quietly almost gracefully like a swan, his glasses shining as he looked at the container holding the powder.

"Ah Shampoo at last you will be mine!" he said as he quickly slipped the vial into his concealing sleeves and replaced it with an identical container. He carefully walked out of the cellar just in time to hear:

"Mousse where are you? We have spilled ramen that needs cleaning!"

Mousse went up the stairs to respond to his future grandmother's command. After cleaning the spill he approached Cologne.

"Great Grandma where is Shampoo?" Cologne sighed as she explained to Mousse that Shampoo was going to meet Ranma for a date.

"Ranma..." Mousse whispered. He quickly rushed to the door but tripped over a bucket of mop water that triggered his transformation into a duck. Cologne just shook her head and sighed as the duck waddled of to meet his beloved. Down the stairs she went.

"The powder should be ready by now." Cologne said rubbing her hands together as she smiled her usual devious smile.

The school bell rang allowing the students of Forenkin High to head home, much to Ranma's delight. He didn't understand much of the academic stuff since he had always preferred physical activities like martial arts. As usual he found himself walking home with Akane when he heard the familiar voice of his best friend and other fiancé

"Ranma-honey, wait up!" He leapt off of the fence and turned to greet her.

"Hey Ukyo How's it going?" He couldn't help but smile. Out of all his fiancés, Ukyo was the only one who ended up hurting him the least. She also was very attractive and a good cook, almost the mirror opposite of Akane; not that he would he say that out loud, he just didn't feel like getting any bruises today.

"I'm doing all right. Would you like something to eat?" Ranma could smell the cooking in her basket and was just about to take up Ukyo's offer when he heard another familiar sound a laugh that try even Buddha's patience. Black rose petals filled the air. Sure enough as he looked up he saw the form of Kodachi, the Black Rose of St. Bachus High.

"Ranma mon-chere, I have been looking all over for you!" Ranma sighed as he thought about all his encounters with the Black Rose both as a guy and as a girl and either way he was sure he was going to end up with some bruises today after all.

"Great." He started muttering under his breath. "Now all I need is," the familiar sound of a bicycle bell and the impact of the front wheel hitting him in the face interrupted his reverie.

"Shampoo," He grunted out in pain as the front wheel was slowly removed from his face. He quickly glanced at Akane with a merciful plea for help forming in his eyes. But as usual Akane's jealousy got the better of her as she tightened her shoulders and began to walk away, leaving Ranma alone with his other fiancés. Once again he found himself trapped in his fiancés tug-o-war with him as the rope. "Akane help!" he screamed in desperation but to no avail. Akane was already skulking off towards home. He couldn't scream for help a second time as he found Kodachi's ribbon wrapped around his neck cutting his airflow.

_Man, I could really use some help right now at this point. Anybody would be welcome, _he thought to himself as he was slowly being torn apart. With Ukyo pulling on his left arm, Shampoo on his right and Kodachi ribbon tugging at his neck Ranma barely noticed the blur of white on top of the tree branch amidst the chaos. Suddenly the young man dressed in a flowing white robe dove from the treetop and threw a white powder bomb down onto the whole group of confused fiancés. All but Kodachi found them-selves surrounded in a cloud of white smoke and a strange dizziness over took each of them. Ukyo turned to wipe the powder from her eyes only to see Mousse stumbling about in the resultant cloud of powder.

_Wow! I never noticed how good-looking Mousse is!_ She thought to herself. In fact she usually didn't think much of Mousse at all but now she found herself under the effect of the Sakuratu root and she wasn't the only one.

"You know Shampoo you really are cute when you are not trying to kill me." Ranma said as he grabbed Shampoo in an embrace. Upon hearing this, Mousse wondered whom Ranma was talking to if he had Shampoo in his arms. Quickly he put on his glasses to find himself holding Kodachi.

"Get your hands off me you cretin!" Kodachi said as Mousse face went flush.

"Oh my black rose-petal girl, how could I have wasted so much time with Shampoo?" He said his voice husky and horse from inhaling the powder, still unaware that he had gotten the powder all over himself. Kodachi didn't notice that her ribbon was still around Ranma's neck as she wrenched herself free of Mousse and ran across the courtyard. She heard Ranma cry out followed by a splash in the school water fountain.

"What is this madness about that disrupts the path of Watihati Kuno, the Blue Lighting of Forenkin High?" Kuno could not believe the chaos he was witnessing: Ukyo was chasing after Mousse; who at the same time was being warded of by his sister, and the girl in the Chinese dress was riding around on her bike calling out Ranma Saotome's name. He was about to step in when he heard a familiar voice say:

"Kuno-darling can you please help me out of this fountain?"He reached down and found himself in the loving embrace of the pig-tailed girl. The dark shape that had been following them chuckled from behind a nearby fence.

"Stupid Ranma," Akane grunted as she sent splinters of wood and brick flying through the air. She usually did this to vent the frustration from her fiancé whenever he pissed her off. Later in the evenings, after he returned home, she either threw him into the meditation pond or hit him with a table. _Better yet_, she thought, _throw him in the pond then hit him with a table! _

"Dinner's ready!" called the voice of Akane's oldest sister, Kasumi. Akane sighed and went into the house to get ready for dinner, wondering where Ranma was or more importantly, who was with Ranma. The meal looked really good. Once again Kasumi out did herself not with a meal that smelled delicious but also was beautifully presented.

"So where's Ranma?" asked Nabiki. Akane was not quite sure how to answer her second oldest sister. It wasn't that Akane didn't trust Nabiki; it was more that Nabiki had a way of exploiting any information for her own gain and lately since Ranma arrived, she plenty to exploit. Even now she was still selling photographs of her and Ranma in his female form, to anyone who would buy them. Over the past couple of years this arranged marriage had become Nabiki's main source of revenue. Her reverie was cut short by a familiar female voice.

I'm home," Ranma female voice announced "And I've brought a guest."

"Idiot," Akane muttered under her breath. Which of the two fiancés who know his secret has he brought home with him this time? It was either Shampoo or Ukyo. Kodachi just wasn't playing with a full deck to figure out his secret so Akane knew it wasn't her. Secretly she hoped it was Ukyo. Out of all his fiancés, Ukyo was the closest one to a friend that Akane had. Girl Ranma walked into the dining area.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted your dinner everyone, she said in a very lady like tone, "But I would like you to meet my new fiance." Upon hearing this Akane fumed.

_New fiance, Just who does he think he is?_ _He's even introducing us to her in his girl-form!_ She stayed quiet as she braced her fingers under the table and prepared to smush both Ranma and her new fiancé

"Oh darling, come in and meet your new family." Before Akane could attack the familiar figure of Watihati Kuno entered. Ranma hugged his arm very lady-like.

"Father, Mr. Tendo, allow me to introduce The Blue Thunder of Forenkin High, Watihati Kuno. This is my new fiancé." She said with adoration in her tone, love written on her face. A moment later all she heard was Nabiki:

"Kuno-baby" Following that the sound of three heads hitting the floor in stunned astonishment, including hers. Finally Kasumi voice sounded in the shocked silence:

"Oh dear."

The shadowy figure watched from in the tree beside the meditation pond; he easily masked his presence from all the so-called martial artists. In his hand he had a notepad, which he was rapidly filling with notes:

1. The Saotome boy suffers from the jusenkyo curse and is engaged to the Tendo's youngest daughter (obvious sexual tension).

Currently the Saotome boy is under the influence of the Sakuraku root in both male and female forms. (This could be fun.)

2. The middle daughter bears my close attention. (Requires further study)

3. The eldest Tendo daughter is possibly on uppers.

He then stopped, put the pen to his lips and started writing a list of ingredients for a strange incantation.

Back at Ukyo's restaurant, Ukyo was hard at work making okonomiyaki, humming a joyful tune while she did. On her creation, which was shaped like a heart she had made letters that spelled out U-K-Y-O while just below them was a mathematical addition sign then below it she had carefully spelled out M-O-U-S-S-E.

"Wait please!" Mousse said chasing Kodachi as she leapt from one rooftop to the next. _The fool still is following me. I'm running from him; can't that idiot take a hint?_ She suddenly stopped. Looks like I have no choice. Mousse stopped just short of bumping into the solitary figure of Kodachi who was just standing there, framed in the evening sunset. He approached her very slowly she turned and smile a seductive smile at him.

"Why do you pursue me?" she asked Mousse. They were just an inch away from physical contact."

"Because I love you," Mousse said unaware of the influence of the Amazon Love powder. She touched his face with her hand and slid it to the back of his neck, drawing him closer to her lips.

"Oh black rose-petal girl." Mousse whispered as Kodachi smiled. "Tell me your name beautiful one."

"My name is Kodachi Kuno, know as the Black Rose." She said as she blew paralysis powder in Mousse's face. Mousse fell backwards staring up into the sky.

_Kodachi_ he thought as his limbs lost all control and his glasses fell off. Kodachi took one last look at him.

_The fool actually looks quite handsome without his glasses_, she thought as she bounded away after her beloved Ranma.

"Great Grandma, I'm home!" Shampoo looked for Grandma Cologne. "Great Grandma, Shampoo needs your help. Where are you?" Cologne hopped up the stairs on her wooden cane.

"Patience my child the powder is ready." Shampoo once again blinked twice.

"Shampoo knows powder is ready that is problem." Shampoo quickly told Cologne all that occurred in the last two hours.

"So the powder has killed three birds with one stone. You will marry son in-law and Mousse will chase after another woman while Ukyo chases after Mousse. I still don't see the problem." Shampoo sighed.

"There's more story great grandma." Shampoo concluded the story with the portion of Ranma running off with Kuno and eluding Shampoo. Cologne blinked once.

"Will you excuse me my dear?" Cologne then went back down into the pantry as Shampoo just stared blankly ahead, tears forming in her eyes while sounds of muffled croaking laughter coming from the cellar.

Back at the Tendo household, things were going from strange to worse. After recovering from the shock, Akane went to talk to Ranma.

"Excuse me Kuno, Ranma can we talk?" Akane said dragging Ranma out of Kuno's arms and into Akane's room. Clear of earshot and shocked faces, Akane turned to Ranma. "Alright Ranma, what are you up to this time?" Ranma just blinked.

"What do you mean Akane?" she asked in a soft feminine voice. This only angered Akane more.

"Come on Ranma, out with it; why are you stringing along Kuno this time?" Once again Ranma just blinked.

"I don't understand Akane. What are you accusing me of?" Grabbing Ranma fiercely Akane shook Ranma.

"Stop playing around Ranma," tears formed in Ranma eyes.

"Ow! Let go Akane, please your hurting me!" Akane let go of Ranma so quickly that she fell on the floor. Ranma's tears were still forming in her eyes.

"Akane please don't hurt me. I love Kuno and that is all. I'm not planning anything I swear please, "she cried out. "Is this because you love him too?"

_Oh no the idiot must have bumped his head again. _Akane shook her head. _I've had to put up with a lot of people who are after Ranma Saotme: Kodochi, Shampoo,and Ukyo. I'll be damned if I'm going to lose Ranma to Kuno of all people._ She grabbed Ranma and dragged her to the bathroom.

"So Kuno-baby, when's the big day?" Nabiki asked ignoring Soun's look of shock and Genma's form of panda denial, playing with his ball. Nabiki looked at Kuno and lowered her brow_. Oh no, if Kuno-baby marries Ranma then he won't be buying any more pictures from me and I'll have to rely on my less profitable endeavors. _

"I haven't really decided on a wedding date yet but I promise it will be a huge ceremony so everyone can witness our happiness." A picture of the huge wedding ceremony formed in Kuno's head; his kiss with the pigtailed girl, walking to the limo after the ceremony, his bride's wedding night attire.

"And what about Akane?" the voice that interrupted his fantasy was Nabiki's.

"Sadly Akane Tendo is engaged to that wretched Saotome and I, as a true man, must respect that." Nabiki blinked stunned to hear Kuno give up Akane so easily. "Now if you will excuse me," Kuno said shaking white powder from his robe, "I have to find my bride." As he walked away all Nabiki could utter out was "Kuno- baby."

"Where are you dragging me Akane?" Ranma asked in a little girl's voice.

"To have a bath," _Before I kill you!_ Akane added to herself. As Akane

dragged girl-Ranma towards the back of the house and the bathing area, Kuno headed upstairs to try and find his pig-tailed goddess.

"Ah, that's nice of you. I have this white powder all over my hair, and I could do with a change of clothes and..." she blathered on.

_Maybe I should just kill him._

No one heard the sound of a bicycle bell ringing in the street approaching the Tendo School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.

"In you go!" Akane said forcing Ranma into the tub of hot water. Once again the jusenkyo curse reversed and she was a he again.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Ranma asked as he emerged from the tub forgetting to cover up. Akane could not help but stare, which prompted Ranma to quickly grab a towel.

Meanwhile at the front door, Shampoo had arrived at the Tendo dojo armed with a kettle of hot water.

"Hello, anybody here?" Shampoo walked in to the hall.

"Oh Hello Shampoo Kasumi greeted her from the hallway next to the stairs.

"Where is Ranma?" Shampoo asked.

"In the bathroom with Akane I think." Shampoo headed towards the bathroom, where shortly thereafter Kuno greeted Kasumi as he descended the stairs.

"Kasumi, I am searching for the pig-tailed girl. Have you seen her?"

"Ranma is in the bathroom with Akane." Kuno headed down the hall. Kasumi shook her head and smiled as she went upstairs to her room.

_That's right! Akane wanted to talk to my beloved pigtail girl,_ he thought joyfully until he was hit by another thought, _and Saotome is with them both in the bathroom! _ He quickly went down the hall.

Ranma was standing wrapped in a towel, about to put his clothes back on, when he heard Shampoo's voice.

"Ranma were are you?" Ranma darted out of the bathroom completely unaware that his towel caught on the doorframe.

"Shampoo here I come!" he shouted as he ran down the hall past the dining room where Nabiki was sitting. She heard thundering steps and peeked outside the door just in time to see Ranma running in the buff.

"Well this certainly is a picturesque moment," she muttered taking a few snap shots and Polaroid shots. However, Nabiki wasn't the only one who was watching. From one of the closets shadowed eyes with fangs watched also.

**"Well this should be interesting, one type of swordsman against another."** Kuno was startled to see naked Ranma stop a few feet in front of him. Kuno blinked for a second before raising his sword.

"Saotome! What were you doing in the bath room naked with Akane Tendo and my beloved pigtailed girl?" _**Probably living out your wet dream if I understand you correctly you putz.**_ The shadow mused as he watched the frozen tableau.

At that junction, Shampoo entered the hallway. Kuno lowered his sword in surprise at her appearance, conveniently covering up Ranma's over exposure.

Shampoo just blinked at the site of the two men. She lowered her eyes slightly, looking at Ranma, her face turning a light shade of red. Kuno noticed this.

"For God sake man, cover yourself in the presence of a lady!" Kuno said blocking Shampoo's view of Ranma with his back to Ranma's chest. "Besides," he whispered over his shoulder, "Fighting with you in this manner is disturbing and undignified." A bright flash followed by a loud click and whirling sound caught their attention. Three heads turned simultaneously to find the source. Beside the group, standing in the doorway of the family room, holding a picture of Ranma and Kuno in a questionable position was Nabiki.

"Well boys, looks like I just hit the jackpot." Snickering, the mysterious shadow crept out of the closet just as everyone's back was turned and disappeared.

Ukyo entered the Cat Café.

"Mousse-honey, are you in here?" she asked.

"Mousse isn't here child; he hasn't been here all day." Cologne said hopping on her cane from the kitchen area.

I wonder where he could be." Ukyo mused just as the door chime rang. The customer was a young man about Mousse's age with red hair and a baseball cap with a big letter A on it.

"Welcome, what can I get for you?" Cologne asked her customer. He flashed a toothy grin that reminded her of Ryoga as he reached into his jacket pocket.

**"Actually I'm here to speak to Miss Ukyo,"** he said pulling out a small vial of powder. Cologne nodded, picked up her tray and turned to clean some tables.

"I'm sorry but have we met somewhere before?" Ukyo asked trying to remember the young man. He was about the same height as Ranma with a black jacket with the initials D.U.W in small letters on the front. He had red hair sticking out of the brim of his cap, but he wasn't remotely familiar. Ukyo was certain that she would have remembered a boy with a voice like his. It sounded scratchy and eerie like a person choking on something.

**"No we haven't met before Miss Ukyo,"** he spoke in the same choked voice. **"I'm just a traveler who happens to have a strange voice and who also specializes in ancient magic." **Ukyo blinked twice wondering why he wanted to see her, she never used magic before.

_Oh no what if he's after Mousse?_ She thought reaching for her spatula.

"What do you want? I don't know any magic!" The kid showed her the vial he had in his pocket. It was a blue crystalline powder that sparkled in the light.

**"I know that you have been afflicted by a 3,000 year old Chinese Amazon love spell."** He shook some of the powder into his cupped palm. Cologne slammed the tray down on the table that she was cleaning and looked at the young man with a glare that would make any martial artist cringe

"How do you know about this?" she demanded as a crackling aura of blue energy formed around her. The young man just shrugged and continued talking to Ukyo.

**"This is the cure for that spell,"** he said as he blew the powder in his palm into Ukyo face. She blinked for a moment as she inhaled the strange blue powder, and then realized her attraction to Mousse was gone. Cologne's face grew even angrier as she walked towards the young people.

"I don't know how you got that cure young man, but I want it now!" The young man just stared at her for a minute then started to laugh, softly. This surprised Cologne. She expected the young man to comply, hesitate or perhaps fight but his laughter caught by her surprise and that made her even angrier. "What do you think you're laughing at?" she asked watching the young man casually help a confused Ukyo to a seat. Ukyo sat down still blinking. He turned with a look of pure amusement on his face. He then grinned showing a small set of fangs.

**"I'm laughing because I'm being threatened by someone who looks like a cross between a Christmas ornament and a tree monkey!"** This was the last straw and Cologne advanced on him.

"Arrogant fool I'll show you what 3,000 Years of Chinese Amazon Histo.."

**"Three thousand years of Chinese Amazon blah, blah, blah. Yea, I've heard it all before grandma."** He smiled. **"The thing is your training is still two thousand years to soon for me." **Ukyo watched as the stranger parried each one of Chestnuts-On-An-Open-Fire attacks. She also watched Cologne get more and more agitated as the stranger kept grinning at her like he was just toying with her. As she watched, the stranger suddenly disappeared.

**"This is getting boring. Time to go Miss Ukyo,"** he said reappearing beside her. He scooped her up gently in his arms and headed towards the exit.

"You're not going anywhere stranger, until you tell me what you know and how you know it." Cologne called after him hopping forward on her stick. Once again the stranger grinned as he put Ukyo down on her feet. He disappeared briefly only to reappear on his knees face to face with Cologne.

**"By watching your fighting technique I know that you really are no threat to me."** Then he whispered something to Cologne that caused her eyes to burst wide open. Ukyo watched as the stranger put one finger on Cologne's forehead and pushed gently. The old lady fell over petrified staring at the ceiling.

"What did you do to her?" Ukyo asked staring in disbelief at Cologne. The stranger just grinned.

**"That Miss Ukyo is a secret you're better off not knowing."** He then gently grabbed her arm and steered her out of the restaurant.

Mousse was finally able to stand up as the paralysis powder wore off.

"Kodachi." he whispered and jumped down off the roof of the small apartment building. As he was about to land a young woman threw a pail of cold water out the window. Transforming into a duck Mousse found himself in a confused state as his affection for Kodachi had disappeared.

They were all staring at Nabiki.

"Here Ranma." she said throwing him a tablecloth. "Much better I can't have you showing the merchandise for free, now can I?" Ranma wrapped the tablecloth around himself the best he could and turned to face Nabiki his sword pointed downwards.

"All right Nabiki, now what are you up to and what do you mean by merchandise?" Nabiki grinned as she held up four photos.

"You see, I have four rare photos of Ranma Saotome in the buff and I'm willing to let them go for a 10,000 yen each."

"Sold," Shampoo yelled out holding the bills for Nabiki to see.

"Now just wait a goddamn minute Nabiki Tendo!" Ranma said only to be interrupted a familiar laugh that made him cringe with fear every time he heard it. _Man she could unnerve the palace guard in China with that laugh,_ Ranma thought as he turned to face Kodachi.

"Ah dear sister, what brings you here?" Kuno asked striking a dignified pose.

"I'm here to see my darling Ranma, though I admit I didn't think I would see this much of him!" Kodachi answered with a little grin.

"You can see even more of him for 15,000 yen." Nabiki said holding another set of prints.

"Sold," Shampoo yelled out again holding even more bills in her hand. Not being able to tolerate anymore, Ranma ran towards Nabiki.

"Give me those photos!" Thinking quickly Nabiki dove to the side, grabbing the knot in the tablecloth and pulling it lose just as Kasumi and Akane came in to see what all the commotion was about. Both sisters couldn't help but look down causing Ranma face to go bright red as he heard Kasumi say:

"Oh my,"

"Ah, ah" Ranma broke into a stutter before tearing past all three sisters and running for literal cover.

"Darn, A missed photo opportunity." Nabiki said. She then shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well, anyway Kuno-baby, I can only imagine the embarrassment you will have to face if anyone saw these photos of you and Ranma." Hearing this Kuno turned but was still able to keep a dignified composure.

"How much do you want Nabiki Tendo? Nabiki smiled as she held the photos in her hand.

"10000, 000 yen each," Kuno sighed as he paid Nabiki for the photos.

_Embarrassing photo of Ranma and Kuno,_ thought Akane she turned bright purple and ran down the hall as she left everyone heard her screaming:

"Ranma!."

Ukyo and her mysterious savoir sat down on a park bench underneath a streetlight. She looked at him, she knew that she should thank him but instead she was a little afraid of him _He just too eerie, the way he took down the old ghoul as if she was nothing. It's all just too creepy. _

**"Are you okay Miss Ukyo?"** The stranger asked his voice still choked but very tender. She nodded still looking at him_**. **_**"Good, because there is much you have to do now."** said the young man. He gave Ukyo the vial of blue powder. **"Listen closely this will cure the rest of your friends, all you have to do is get it on their skin."** Ukyo just nodded as she looked at the vial. **"But you must make sure not to sprinkle it on anyone who is not affected by the Amazon love powder. If you do sprinkle this on a person who is not affected, they will feel disdain for the first person of the opposite sex they see."**

"You mean this powder can cause a woman to hate the first man they see?" Ukyo said with a sly smile.

**"Yes, so be sure that you are very careful otherwise you may end up breaking somebody's heart."**

"Right we wouldn't want to do that." she said with a devilish grin feeling less scared. She looked into the night, clutching the vial and thinking wicked thoughts. She turned to thank the stranger only to find herself alone on the park bench.

The duck waddled into the Cat Cafe very carefully; he wanted to be human before confronting grandmother Cologne. She no doubt already knew about the switch he had made in the cellar and she might be hungry for duck soup as a result. He carefully poked his head through the left door of the cafe and saw no one. As he quietly waddled across the floor his glasses slipped off of his beak. While searching in vain for his glasses he bumped into something. Unable to see to clearly, he felt along the nearest wall to get to the kitchen. Once safely there he used his wings to fill the sink with hot water and dived in. Once again Mousse was human. He pulled himself out of the cramped sink and dressed quickly in clothes he had secretly stashed in the kitchen. Finding his spare pair of glasses in his sleeve pocket, he ran back to the serving area of the Cat Cafe.

"Old lady Cologne where are you?" Mousse shouted desperately looking for her. He looked down and saw her lying on the floor, just staring at the ceiling and murmuring something. "Old lady Cologne I need your help! I took your powder and something went wrong - whenever I turn into a duck I fall in love with your granddaughter instead of my beloved Kodachi!" She just lay there, staring at the ceiling, murmuring. Mousse went down to see if he could hear what she was saying. He put his ear to her lips. The words he heard confused him. Mousse grabbed Cologne's shoulders and shook her gently.

"What are you talking about old lady?" Mousse asked. "Who's prancing with five mountain deer's?" Konk!, (The sound of Cologne's-ended cane smashing Mousse in the head.)

"I said he has been practicing for five thousand years!" she said realizing how disturbing it sounded aloud.

The sound of the food let Ukyo know that her special okonomiyaki was complete. She took it off the grill making sure all her skin was covered up just in case. She then pulled out her bottle of sauce and started writing A-K-A-N-E.

Back at the Tendo household, Ranma's face was a very deep red.

"Damn Nabiki." he cursed as he got dressed in his usual training clothes. Still cursing he looked in the mirror. "In front of Shampoo too," He looked down at the floor. "Still, I guess it's okay if she has those pictures. I mean after all we are engaged. This thought put a smile on his face and he decided to go talk with his fiancé Shampoo. He walked out of his room and headed back down the hallway towards the place he last saw Shampoo. Suddenly a flying table blocked his sight of the hall. The back of Ranma's head hit the floor with a painful thud and was followed up by the table hit him again in the face with a powerful slam.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Ranma said as he pushed the table to the side and stopped dead in his tracks by the sight of a royally pissed off Akane.

"Ranma, I'm only going to ask you this once." she said picking up the abused table.

"Look Akane." She put her hand up indicating that she wanted Ranma to be quiet. Ranma stopped talking and prepared to dodge the table.

"Did you have sex with Kuno?" Akane asked in a strained yet calm voice.

"What?" Ranma said not believing his ears. "Damn Nabiki! Look Akane the pictures that Nabiki took are not what they seem." Akane loosened her grip on the table as Ranma continued; "I was only naked behind Kuno because I wanted to see Shampoo.

"Naked behind Kuno!," And before Ranma could move, the table hit him again.

Ukyo arrived just as Nabiki was auctioning off her forth set of prints.

"That's $75,000 yen going once!" Nabiki called out.

"$80, 000," Kodachi yelled back.

"$85, 000," Shampoo followed up with.

"What's going on?" Ukyo asked.

"Ukyo would you like to join the auction?" Nabiki asked displaying the prints. _I knew having a small darkroom set up in my room would come in handy._

Ukyo pushed her way passed Shampoo and Kodachi and peered at the offered pictures. Ukyo blushed at the image of Ranma naked.

"I'll order some later." she said. "Right now I'm looking for Akane."

"I believe she is with Ranma right now." Kasumi said coming out on to the deck. Upon hearing their beloved fiances name all three women went inside the house and headed towards the living room. In the lead was Ukyo, and then Kodachi followed by Shampoo after she paid for another set of prints.

Ukyo was careful not to drop her special okonomiyaki as she went upstairs to Akane's room. She reached Akane room and heard her fuming in her usual

"Idiot, that Idiot" Ukyo knocked on the door.

"Akane, its Ukyo. I want to talk to you please."

Meanwhile Ranma was alone in the bathroom exposing his head to a cold ice pack_. Something must be wrong with Akane she never just leaves me inside the house after a beating; I usually end up in the pond outside._ He sighed heavily. _And its all because of those photos Nabiki took. _The thought of those photos in all his fiances' hands made him blush again. Looking down he saw his body was not feeling nearly as embarrassed as he was. _Whoa I better take a cold shower before seeing Shampoo. _

Minute's later Ranma was once again female from the cold shower, and once again the strange effect of the Sakuratu root took effect on his female alter ego. _Poor Akane_, she thought, _she must love Kuno just as much as I do._

"I have to talk to Akane about me and Kuno." he said out loud. She quickly towel dried and re-dressed, so as not to provide Nabiki with more photo opportunities. She walked up the stairs towards Akane room practicing in her head what she was going to say.

_Akane I love Kuno and he loves me. Please, try to accept this. After all, you are my best friend and I would like you to be my maid of honor at our wedding._

She then started picturing the beautiful wedding that she and Kuno were going to have. A picture of a huge ceremony formed in her head; her handsome Kuno approaching her after the ceremony for the kiss. She let a happy little giggle escape her lips before knocking on Akane's door.

"Who is it? She heard Akane ask.

"Akane, its Ranma. Can we talk, please?"

"Sure come on in," said another voice. It sounded like Ukyo.

As Ranma entered she was surprised to see Akane blindfolded and with blue powder on her mouth.

Ukyo removed Akane's blindfold. Akane took one look at Ranma and her face turned an angry shade of purple.

"Ranma," Akane screamed grabbing the closest weapon at hand and throwing it at her. Unfortunately for Ukyo the closest weapon to Akane was Ukyo's giant spatula, with Ukyo still attached.

Back at the park the mysterious stranger perched in a tree.

**"Oh my, I forgot to tell Miss Ukyo that if the affected person looks at someone of the same sex they would develop a violent hatred of that person." **He smiled revealing his fangs. **"How could I forget to tell her that?"** He jumped down out of the tree. **"Oh well I guess I better go back to the Tendo's house and warn them."** As he stretched his arms he saw the sun setting. **"But it's such a nice day I think I'll take the long route."**

Ukyo got up and rubbed her head. She heard a distant voice scream

"Get back here Ranma!" followed by another voice:

"Akane please why are you so angry?" She then heard what sounded like heavy objects hitting the floor. Picking the vial of antidote off of the floor she ran downstairs towards the sound of the fighting. She followed the noise into the dojo. In the training hall she saw Ranma hiding from Akane behind a training dummy. She carefully uncapped the antidote vial. _Maybe a second exposure will restore her._ She looked again at the scene. _Wait a minute, why is Ranma-honey not fighting back?_ Ukyo started to step into the dojo but before she could she heard:

"Don't worry my pigtailed-princess, your gallant knight will rescue you!" from behind her. Before she could move out of the way, Kuno tripped on Ukyo. Seconds later Shampoo and Kodachi charged around the corner of the hall and right into the Ukyo/Kuno traffic jam. It ended up as an ugly pile up with Kuno on the bottom. During the violence of the collision the vial was knocked from Ukyo's hand and ended up covering most of Shampoo.

Shampoo untangled herself, wiping the blue powder from her eyes. She then stopped rubbing her eyes and blinked at the pile, seeing only Kodachi's face. She looked very intensely at Kodachi, who had no trace of the powder on her. Shampoo then walked slowly to Kodachi, helped her stand up. With Kodachi off of her Ukyo was now able to crawl off of Kuno and watch the two pairs facing off. Shampoo grabbed Kodachi's face, administering the Amazon Kiss of Death. Shampoo raised her bonbori to strike Kodachi when suddenly a chain with a claw embedded itself into the door jam next to Shampoo's raised bonbori. _The old lady was right! My beloved Kodachi was in danger!_ Mousse leaped in between Kodachi and Shampoo. It was one of the strangest things Ukyo had ever seen.

_Mousse protecting Kodochi from Shampoo,_ She thought. She then turned to see without a doubt the strangest thing she ever saw - _Kuno protecting Ranma from Akane. This is just too weird! _

"Akane please be reasonable!" Ranma pleaded from behind Kuno as Akane stalked towards with a huge table in both hands. She didn't answer Ranma's plea instead she pulled her arms back and prepared to strike.

"Look out pig-tailed girl!" Kuno screamed just before Akane struck.

Kasumi carefully balanced the tray in both hands. _I hope our guests enjoy this tea. _She thought when she heard one loud crash followed by another coming from the dojo. She walked in through the side entrance, unaware of the complete carnage.

Ukyo watched as Mousse avoided Shampoo's bonbori while he was trying to protect Kodachi. _Why is this fool protecting me can he really be in love with me?_ Kodachi pondered. Mouse interrupted her musings as he grabbed her gently and quickly took her out of the dojo. Shampoo lunged again as Mousse diverted his attention.

"Oh my beloved Kadachi are you all right?" He asked as he was brained upside the head by Shampoo's bonbori.

Meanwhile, Kuno was in pain both from the table swung at him by Akane Tendo and by the wall he hit after she had slammed him. In fact the only comfort he felt at that moment was from his beloved pig-tailed girl who was cradling him gently.

"Kuno, Kuno are you okay sweetheart?" she asked, fear still in her voice as Akane approached.

"Oh my beloved pig-tailed one; I am in such pain that only your sweet kiss can ease it." Ranma gently raised her beloved's head.

"All right," Ranma said as she eagerly went for Kuno's lips. Thinking quickly Ukyo grabbed the teakettle from the stunned Kasumi and threw it at Ranma but it was too late! Their lips touched, as Ranma turned male.

"Ranma," Akane screamed. Ranma opened his eyes to find Kuno in a lover's embrace. He quickly dropped Kuno and turned his head to spit when he saw that all the fighting around him had stopped as everyone was staring at him in stunned silence.

"Ah, ah, ah," Ranma stuttered. Akane very calmly walked over to a stunned Shampoo and grabbed her bonbori. Shampoo didn't even resist. She just stared as Akane walked over to a petrified Ranma and hit him in the head. Ranma went down with a quiet thud followed by a scream of frustrated rage from Akane. She then proceeded to beat the hell out of him before Ukyo could stop her. After what seemed like hours to a very-sore Ranma, Akane walked back to the still shocked Shampoo and gave her back her bonbori.

"You can have him." she said and then walked away.

Seeing this as a chance to escape, Mousse grabbed Kodachi and fled the dojo.

"Come on my black rose princess; we have to leave before Shampoo notices were gone." Shampoo was busy comforting her poor love that was still not able to stand without help.

"Ah pig-tailed girl your lips are so powerfully passionate." Kuno said suddenly revived, or so he thought before falling on his face again. Ranma just groaned as the mental picture of him kissing Kuno flashed into his head. _Why did I KISS Kuno of all people?_ Ranma thought as Shampoo helped him up.

"Ranma you okay?" Shampoo asked as Ranma slumped on her shoulder. He just stared blankly.

_I'm a guy and I kissed Kuno, I'm a guy and I kissed Kuno. And worst of all he liked it. _Feeling the strong urge to spit he looked away from his beloved Shampoo. _How can I face her after kissing Kuno? Especially since, since,_ he suddenly shook his head as much as his neck would let him.

"For two seconds I liked it" he whispered.

"What?" Shampoo asked unable to hear him clearly. She sat him in a chair as Ranma repeated the same words with a little more volume.

"For two seconds I really enjoyed kissing Kuno." Shampoo blinked twice then smiled.

"You were girl-Ranma when you kiss stupid boy," she stated cradling him gently. It

okay. You boy-Ranma now and you love Shampoo, that all that matter."

"Shampoo" Ranma whispered as she drew closer and kissed him on the lips. He happily received her kiss closed his eyes and returned with one of his own. Splash was the sound the bucket of cold water made as it struck Ranma and Shampoo, Ranma opened her eyes to see Ukyo standing in front of her with an empty bucket and an angry look in her eyes. Then she noticed the tickling sensation under her nose. Her eyes flew wide open as she found herself in a lip lock with a wet cat. "Aaah" She screamed throwing feline Shampoo into the air. She started to run for the door when she slipped in a puddle of water and went flying into the air.

**Bamm! **was the sound that came as Ranma hit the floor and aggravated her injuries and ultimately knocking herself unconscious.

Shampoo landed on her feet gracefully was approached the unconscious red head when suddenly everything around her went black.

"There that ought to keep you from making a bad situation worse." Ukyo said trapping Shampoo under a bucket. She then quickly put a small weight from the bench on top of the bucket. "Come on you two I think we should get you someplace a little more comfortable." She said looking at Kuno and Ranma Taking another glance she then added, "And also we need to call a doctor."

The mysterious stranger was almost at the Tendo household when he saw Mousse bounce by with a protesting Kodachi in his arms.

"Let me go you cretin!" Kodachi yelled which prompted Mousse to stop. The stranger quickly hid in some nearby bushes and observed the young couple. He watched as Mousse put Kodachi down.

_**It's the idiot who started this chaotic yet highly entertaining situation**_. He thought going for a vial of blue powder hidden in his jacket. He eyed the vial contemplating his next move. _**On second thought I really should get to the Tendo household before Happosi learns about the powder. After all I don't want to play my hand to soon. **_

Mousse looked at Kodachi.

"How beautiful you look your hair, your face; you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." They were standing only a few millimeters apart from each other. Kodachi put her hands on Mousse's face and removed his glasses carefully.

_He really is quite handsome without these foolish looking glasses._ She reached under her leotard for her powder when Mousse gently grabbed her arm.

"Please my cunning beauty before you paralyze me again can I get one kiss to linger on my lips while I'm blissfully paralyzed?" Kodachi stopped dead, nobody ever asked her so passionately for a kiss, and she never met a man who would let her paralyze him before.

Both her hands found themselves on Mousse's face and before Mousse could react she kissed him aggressively on the lips. Taking this as his cue the mysterious stranger left.

Akane sat in her room fuming she didn't feel like breaking anything, or throwing anything. _That idiot kissing Kuno, getting naked behind Kuno while _

_Shampoo watched._ She dry wretched as an ugly mental picture formed in her head. She pushed herself away from her desk and plopped on her bed. _Well fine then - if Ranma, Kuno and Shampoo are into that kinky stuff then they can have each other!_ She turned off her lamp and just lay very still.

Dr. Tofu wasn't used to doing evening house calls but the voice on the phone sounded urgent enough. Ranma must have really upset Akane if he can't make it to my clinic.

Meanwhile Kasumi was on her way to the market.

"I wonder why Ranma insisted that I go shopping now." She said out loud as she checked the list that Ukyo wrote for her.

Ice

Soup

Bandages

Aspirin

Tea

Condoms (god, please don't use them)

Catnip

Cat food

Litter and kennel

Kasumi put the list back in her pocket and proceeded to the market place.

Kuno found him-self barely conscious as strong masculine hands went to work on his aching shoulders.

"Ah my pig-tailed princess your hands are so strong yet still feminine." He relaxed his aching muscles and enjoyed the massage he was getting. "Ah my love that feels so good I can't wait until we're married."

"I'm afraid that will be a long time Mr. Kuno." Dr. Tofu said. This startled Kuno who started to jump up.

"Who are you and where is my beloved?" He asked.

"I'm Dr. Tofu and I was called here to treat both you and Ranma."

"What do I care for that wretched Saotome? Where is my pigtailed love?"

"She's fine you jackass." Ukyo said as she entered the room with an ice pack. Tofu helped Kuno back onto the couch.

"Miss Ukyo would you mind taking over here?" He donned latex gloves and went over to Kuno's discarded robe. He gingerly put it into a plastic bag. Using a brush he carefully took a sample of the powder. _Funny, Miss Ukyo said the powder was white but this powder is blue._ He was about to put his sample slide under the microscope when Kasumi entered the room.

"Would anybody like some tea?" Kasumi asked. _Oh no! Didn't Ranma honey say that Tofu goes goofy when Kasumi's around? _Ukyo thought but it was too late the inevitable happened.

In a passion-induced hysteria Tofu rubbed his powder laced gloves across his face as he turned away from Kasumi. He was now looking at Kuno.

"Kasumi can you please leave the tea here? I have a patient I have to attend to." He said coldly. Kasumi left and it seemed to a shocked Ukyo that she was a little disappointed.

_Oh no the powder must have killed Tofu's love for Kasumi._ Ukyo felt ashamed. _All this trouble is my fault I just wanted Ranma honey to break up with Akane but now I've gone and broke more hearts then I meant too, plus Ranma's marrying Kuno is gross._

"Miss Ukyo can you go check on Ranma please?" Tofu said in his usually joyful expression, which interrupted Ukyo reverie.

"Sure doc." Ukyo said glad to have an excuse to leave the tragedy she caused.

**"Ah finally here."** the mysterious stranger snuck very carefully into the Tendo household. He heard a muffled cry of pain quietly he went to investigate. When he saw the source he couldn't help but giggle at the sight, which he beheld. _**Well that was entertaining. **_He moved on looking for Ukyo and Ranma. He found Ukyo busy in the kitchen cooking a get-well okonomiyaki so he let her be.

"Are you sure about this Nabiki?" Ranma asked. Nabiki smiled.

"It's all right Ranma. Every bride-to-be rehearses her wedding vows. Now just speak loudly and clearly into the tape recorder."

Ten minutes later the mysterious stranger knocked on Nabiki's door. He heard the sound of Nabiki hiding the tape recorder.

"Come in."

**"Oh I'm sorry ladies! I was looking for Miss Ukyo. Have either of you seen her?" **Nabiki sized up Ukyo's young friend; the nice leather jacket he was wearing indicated he was doing well financially; but it was the cap that concealed most of his face that made his true gullibility hard to determine. He looked at Ranma.

**"Hey don't I know you?"** Ranma blinked she was sure she would remember a voice like that.

"No I don't think so." she continued to look at Ukyo's friend. He was a couple inches taller than her but it wasn't his height that made her feel uneasy. "My name is Ranma Saotome and this is Nabiki Tendo." She turned to Nabiki, "Excuse me Nabiki, I'm going to check on Kuno." _**That's a better idea then you think,**_ he let her pass by and looked at Nabiki.

**"Well if you will excuse I'm going to continue looking for Miss Ukyo."** As he left Nabiki shut her door. _Man I wish Kasumi would stop letting these people into the house without thinking first._

Akane was still fuming when a loud scream filled the entire house causing her to nearly hit the ceiling from her prone position on the bed. She quickly rushed down to the living room where the screaming was coming from. She arrived at the entrance only to find the rest of the house's occupants already assembled. Her father and Mr. Saotome were armed with brooms while behind them were her sisters. Ukyo stood ready with her giant spatula guarding the rear.

**"What's going on?"** The mysterious stranger asked, thus startling Ukyo, which caused her to push Kasumi who shoved Nabiki etc, etc. Akane and the stranger watched as the dojo dominos fell down on the living room floor due to a very disturbing sight.

"There now doesn't that feel better?" They heard Dr. Tofu say in his usual tone. But what he was doing was far from the usual. Akane couldn't believe her eyes; Tofu had Kuno face down on the couch with his arms and legs tied to either end he also had a wad of cotton stuffed in his mouth. His robe had been removed completely exposing his upper body. They watched as Tofu stuck a large pin in Kuno's back. Kuno's eyes widened in pain his back looked like a fleshy pincushion.

"Relax Mr. Kuno, acupuncture is one of my specialties," he said raising another needle. Suddenly a red mist was blown into his face. Tofu blinked twice then shook his head as the effects of the anti-sakuratu root wore off. Confused, Akane looked away from Kuno and saw Ranma cringing in a corner with tears coming out of her eyes.

**"I got here just in time, right Miss Ukyo?"** The stranger asked as the crowd of people untangled themselves. All eyes went on Ukyo but before she could explain another scream filled the room.

"Ranma!" Akane screamed, still suffering from the effects of the anti-sakuratu root. Akane lunged at the whimpering Ranma causing a survival instinct that prompted Ranma to quickly run away from Akane.

"Kuno save me please!" Ranma cried out running towards her bonded beloved. All watched as Akane stalked Ranma. The only thing separating them was the couch that Kuno was tied to. Dr Tofu quickly jumped out of the way of the rampaging Akane.

"It would seem that Akane is under the same effect I was." Tofu said approaching the Tendo family. "I must have been exposed to the sample of powder Miss Ukyo asked me to analyze." Once again all eyes were on Ukyo as her face turned crimson red. She quickly ran to the mysterious stranger.

"Can't you do something?" She said as she watched Ranma and Akane circle each other around the couch.

**"Don't worry Miss Ukyo I have enough antidote for two more people."** Saying this he quickly appeared by Ranma's side and blew the red mist into her face. Meanwhile Akane was tiring of the obstacle that was barring her from her source of rage. She then decided to use it the obstacle as a weapon against that source.

During all the confusion nobody noticed that the bucket holding Shampoo had been kicked over. The cat watched as the couch that Kuno was tied to was brought down on a dazed Ranma and a black blur. Akane had stopped for a second to catch her breath when she spotted Shampoo. She grabbed the feline foil and approached the combined wreckage of the couch, Kuno and Ranma. Ranma slowly pushed the wreckage of the couch off herself.

Wha, what the hell are you." Akane grabbed her head.

"Well Ranma since you like Shampoo's pussy so much - here have it all!" Saying this she rammed the source of Ranma's phobia into his face while holding the back of her head. Before she could have another panic attack Ukyo splashed Ranma and Shampoo with the still steaming hot water from the teakettle. Ranma now found his face being enveloped by Shampoos naked breasts and Akane was surprised to find her hand holding his head there.

"Smile," They heard Nabiki say as she took her most profitable picture yet. Both Ranma and Akane pulled back at exactly the same time and just blankly stared at the group who witnessed this action with shock on all but Nabiki's face.

"Oh my god, Shampoo," Ranma said grabbing her and trying to cover her naked body as much as possible with his own. Shampoo turned to the now regaining her senses Akane. Her faced turned a deep purple as she saw Ranma all over Shampoo's naked body.

"Can Shampoo keep him now pervert girl?" Shampoo asked feeling both triumphant and slightly aroused. Ukyo angrily grabbed Kuno discarded robe.

"Here." she said flinging it at Shampoo. Ranma stood in front of the crowd trying to shield Shampoo from their view while she slipped on Kuno's robe. Akane was beyond furious at this point.

"I'm going to beat that baka within an inch of his miserable life with my bare hands!" She suddenly found the mysterious stranger standing right in front of her. He put his hand gently on her shoulder and try as she might she couldn't push past him. All she could is watch as Ranma approached Shampoo unaware that his sword was sticking out.

**"There is no need for violence Miss Tendo."** he said as he blew the last of the red mist at Ranma again. Once again Ranma was dazed **"the love spell that was placed on him will wear off in a couple of seconds." **he said and walked towards the door.

"Love spell?" Akane angrily blurted looking at Shampoo with the evilest of eyes. The stranger stopped just in front of Shampoo.

**"Lay off the love spells. They're not worth the hassles kid."** He then whispered in her ear**. "Oh yeah, if I were you I would check in on your great-grandmother; she wasn't looking to well when I last saw her this afternoon."**

After hearing this Shampoo quickly ran off before anyone could stop her. Ranma snapped out of his daze as the confused viewers dispersed around the room, each firing a barrage of questions.

**"I think Miss Ukyo can answer you better then I can. Besides if I tell you everything, I'll lose that cryptic edge that makes me a Cool Mysterious Stranger."**

He pushed past them and went out the patio door into the garden and vanished before anyone could stop him.

"Well, what a night! I guess I better get going also!" Ukyo said quickly inching towards the door. "See you guys." she said. A very angry Akane and a very confused Ranma suddenly blocked her path.

"You better put a large pot of tea on Kasumi," Nabiki addressed her sister, "It looks like it's going to be a very long night."

The mysterious stranger found himself sitting on the same tree branch as before the whole mess started.

_**I have this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something,**_ he thought to himself. _**Oh well it couldn't have been that important.**_ He chuckled to himself as he disappeared into thin air.

Meanwhile in the Kuno gardens a strange duck with glasses fought desperately to avoid getting eaten by a huge alligator while the woman that was his beloved in his human form was sleeping blissfully in her bed.


End file.
